Run Out The Door

There’s a delicate line that I wrestle with. The line separates one job from another, and if not established well it will be abused. It’s been said that our work relationships are family, because we spend more time with one another than we do our actual family. Delicate line.

A radio program plays everyday at 5:05 as I drive home and opens with these words, “As you make your transition from your part time job where you generate an income, to your full time job where you cultivate an outcome, don’t forget that what goes on in your house is more important than the White House.” A lot was just said in that one sentence. 

It’s important to keep perspective on why we go to work in the first place. We may very well come to love our coworkers, but may they never replace the opportunities outside of work. And I say that carefully, knowing marriage is not for everyone. So excluding marriage entirely, I’d still argue that our purpose is more fully displayed in the community we keep outside of work than that within it. We generate an income, so that we can cultivate an outcome. The income is not the outcome, the income is the means in which we use for a greater outcome! 

So transition daily from your part time job where you generate an income, to your full time job where you cultivate an outcome.

And when we do get home, we often turn on the news, right? Either on the TV or on our news feed, we become lost in the things going on outside of our control. Perhaps we like it there, escaping our reality into someone else’s far away. We enjoy the tisk tisk of low risk, the easy calls within living room walls. All the while, we have immeasurable investment opportunity in the precious people that surround us. Recently someone made the point of how foolish it would be to find a broken light, and then curse the darkness rather than simply fixing the light. In the same way, we spend so much energy consumed in the blackholes of our broken world instead of investing in the light. 

What goes on in your house, is far more important than the White House. 

Lastly, to prove how delicate this line is, we must do the math. Because the statement of spending more time at work than with family can be very true if you let it be. So let’s think about how much 30 minutes matters. 

The average 8-5 comes out to 9 hours a day (not including travel) that we are away from our home. 9 times 5 equals 45 hours a week away from home. We may get an hour for lunch, but in the context of family, most of us “work through lunch” even if we do go out to Chili’s with coworkers. So we tell ourselves 40 hours, but what our spouse or children feel is 45+.

So what do they get? This obviously varies, so I’ll give my generic scenario as the example. I get one hour before work at the breakfast table with my boys. If I get home at 5:15, for the sake of even numbers, I get 3 more hours with the whole family and maybe one more with just my wife before we pass out. (This doesn’t take into consideration yard work or other things that need to get done apart from family) So my generous total is 5 hours a day. Saturday and Sunday our mostly all day with family, so call it 6:30-8:30 totaling 28 hours on the weekend. 28 plus 25 from the work week equals 53 hours with family. Now, I mentioned 30 minutes matters, so let’s look at how quickly that can change.  I actually aim to get to work early so at a minimum I leave at 7:30, robbing 30 minutes from my boys. Then, if we linger and chat at work, if we work a little extra at the end of the day and add another 30 minutes there, that’s 1 hour per day I’m taking from my family and giving to my job. That adds 5 more hours to the 45 (totaling 50), and 5 stolen hours from the 53 (totaling 48). Suddenly, and often accidentally, I gave more to my work than to my life. (Note: the philosophy of “loving what you do” can still apply, I absolutely love what I do. But not at the expense of what I’ve been given at home and with friends.) 

As mentioned, my job is pretty generic when it comes to hours (and honestly I consider that a privilege at this stage of my life), but many of us work unpredictable hours or “entrepreneur’s hours.” And for those of us in that boat, I challenge you to pay even closer attention. I’ve been there. We may convince ourselves that our flexible schedule allows us to work any time we’d like from any where we’d like, but often the trade is never truly being “off.” Give the people in your life all of you, not half.

Thirty minutes matters. It matters to your spouse, it matters to your kids, it matters to your friends, it matters to you as a principle worth protecting. 

All that to say, forgive me when I run out the door. It’s the most important thing I’ll do today.