How To Learn to Pray in 10 Days
This is one of those topics that is fascinating to discuss. As someone who used to interview and place Christian leadership, one of my favorite questions to ask them in their interview was “how do you pray?” The reason is because of the diversity in answers! And maybe that is the best place to begin this short blog- there is no right answer here. What I’m about to think through is only a curation of my favorite tips that have helped me over the years (and still today!). Psalms 19:14 says “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” That is my prayer for both this communication and our future time in prayer.
When asking the question of “how” you may encounter a handful of condescending responses. I don’t think they mean to be condescending though- the thought is that it should be natural- easier caught than taught- a stirring within us that is largely unexplainable and at best rambling.
But let’s be honest- It is difficult to actually pray, and I say actually very intentionally because the impulse to pray is quite the opposite of difficult. It is human- to long for more, to plead a case, to be grateful, to be angry, to want to communicate our most authentic emotions. But actually doing it is another story. In a world of social media, I believe we are learning to substitute that vulnerability with a God who hears for a crowd who ‘likes.’ That makes sense to me personally- It’s increasingly difficult for me to retreat to a quiet place when I can be seen and heard on Facebook. It’s also difficult to actually follow up with our instincts. What do I mean? How many times have you seen a need- a real and heartbreaking need- and you tell them you’re praying, but seconds later you’re lost in your own schedule and didn’t actually bring it to God? Prayer is difficult! It’s difficult to begin with, and it’s becoming all the more difficult with life and technology.
Probably another contributor to it’s difficulty is this fundamental question that we want answered; Does prayer actually work? Am I getting past my ceiling? Does this cosmic call really connect, and if it does can my case even change fate? Whew. That’s heavy. But I think that is precisely the right question to ask in today’s world! Is prayer really worth it when our friends and loved ones are fighting for their life?! Or is this just something we “send” to let people know we care? … like vibes.
I want to offer you a 10 day experience to try out in hopes of gaining a better prayer life. Again, I’m going to walk through what has helped me and what I still use, not what is necessarily the “perfect model.” There is no such thing as a one size fits all, but there are tools to make this very important job easier. This isn’t coming from a place of arrogance, but rather genuine humility. I need help and this is what has helped me. I have literally been paid to pray, I’ve been sent on solitude retreats for days and even then it is a struggle. But I also know how beneficial it is, and how encouraged I am when I do, not necessarily by the outcome- but by the refreshing process itself. I want the same for you. “I write this to you so that you may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. We write this so that our joy may be made complete. (1 John 1:3-4) Consider doing each day as it comes, allowing time to fully try it out.
Day 1. Pleading Your Case
Simon Sinek has this famous Ted Talk titled ‘Start With Why’ and I couldn’t agree more with its logic. “Why” is the fuel that keeps us going when we don’t know how or what. So why should we pray? Charles Spurgeon touches on this when he noted the arguments we see in Job. He says, “Argue before the Lord not because God is slow to give, or because we can change the divine purpose, or because God needs to be informed..The arguments to be used are for our own benefit, not for His. The successful argument is always founded upon grace, and hence the soul so pleading is made to understand intensely that it is by grace and by grace alone that a sinner can obtain anything of the Lord. The use of arguments is intended to stir up our fervency.” So why pray? So that we come to know fervently the hope we profess.
Ephesians 1:18 says “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,” The key word there is ‘know’. Sometimes we need the grief and the hard questions so that we can wrestle or argue with the nature of God. It forces us to wonder and explore the riches hidden in scripture. When there is nothing that this world can do to solve our problems, when the Dr. diagnoses or the securities flee, what do we have to hold on to? That is the right question to ask, and I pray you come to know this Hope. Be honest with God today… wrestle with Him. Not because you have the ability to change His mind, but because He will gently share His mind with you. Amen.
Day 2. ACTS
A very old and incredibly helpful acronym that we have is known as the ACTS prayer. Tools like these are so helpful because they prompt you into praying in ways that you usually wouldn’t. It shapes our rambling and helps consistency. Psalm 51:10 says “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” My personal favorite part of this prayer is where it begins:
A is for Adoration. Which coming out of yesterday’s challenge, this should be refreshing. If day one was similar to Job trying to understand Gods reasoning in arguments, then the A in ACTS is Gods mighty answer at the end of the book. Adore His might for a moment. Fixation on that slowly turns His will into our hope. (Not vise versa [worth reading again])
C is for Confession. In contrast to the adoration of His holiness, we then look in a mirror and it’s hard not to laugh… Confess your need, your short comings, your renewed hope!
T is for Thanksgiving. You know this one.. count your blessings! You may wrap up the confession part and feel deflated, but yet we have so much to be thankful for. This is such an important discipline for me in helping my understanding of Grace come into focus a little more clearly. (Ephesians 2:1-5)
Lastly, S is for Supplication. What now? I’m mentally prepared for the day ahead (Romans 12:2), but now I must go. Lord give me the wisdom to stay positioned behind the cross. To act in a manner that gives testimony to your redeeming work in my life. The old me is gone, the New has come, “for it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me.” Amen.
Day 3. The Desk
As you spend time praying, do you notice yourself jumping all over the place mentally? Are you sitting still physically but running like a lunatic mentally? One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Psalm 23:2 which for context I’ll quote verse 1 as well. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,” I love it because of one word, ‘makes.’ Ain’t that the truth? Sometimes we need a little help to see where the Lord has placed us. In the middle of 2020 I couldn’t stop quoting this verse to myself. “Lord make me lie down, this is a green pasture, I have so much to be grateful for.”
It’s hard to do that though if we constantly have things fighting for our attention. Even if we turn our phone off and enter a solid white padded room, our mind still races every which way. Today is all about learning to willfully lie down in the “green pasture.”
Imagine you’re sitting at a desk. Close your eyes if you’d like and see the desk. There’ are emails to respond to, there are bills to pay, there are unorganized files that simply need to be dealt with. Deal with them. See each item and for the sake of this exercise set it all on the ground next to you. “I see the need, and I’m setting it aside for a moment.” You are fighting for a clear desk. This may sound silly, and you’re probably right. But this exercise has been effective for me learning to acknowledge my to do list and then set it aside. Meditation alone is arguably pointless. We meditate and clear our mind so that we can make room for what matters most. So as you do this, if you do this, be prepared with a nugget to sit on. Maybe it’s a familiar passage like Psalm 23, and suddenly you fall in love with something new within the passage. Maybe it’s a Proverb, or maybe it’s something like extended adoration. The goal is not to “clear your desk” alone, but to fix your mind on things above.
Colossians 3:2 says “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Amen.
Day 4. Sinners Prayer
“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 18:10-14
Today we get another tool to add to the belt. This is also one I frequent when I don’t necessarily have an agenda to pray but find myself with plenty of time, like a long car ride. It’s repetitive and expansive and totally meant to serve as a guide.
With it being so short, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” It’s easy to replay in our head as a tone turned attitude. But it also gives space to break down personally. Walking through the verse, you can work through the following questions:
God- Who is God to you?
Have mercy on me- Where has God shown you mercy in the past?
A sinner- What are you running to instead of God?
“God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Amen.
Day 5. Petition
You’re on Facebook and someone shares a need, you look at the comments and you’ll always see it, “Sending prayers your way.” I often wonder, “wow, are all those people really praying?” That may sound arrogant or judgmental, but it’s actually curiosity and humility. Remember, I’ve done this for a living and I still struggle with actually doing it! I also wonder what they mean by “sending prayers.” Now, to be fair, perhaps they meant something different than how I’m reading that, but to me it seems like we desire to send our good energy/thoughts/vibes to them. As in I’m the sender, you’re the receiver and perhaps a spirit is the mailman. I don’t believe we send our prayers anywhere on our own. Prayer is not telekinesis. Prayer is an internal dialogue with the living God that lives within us (The Holy Spirit, Rom. 8:26), and it is Him that hears our prayers as the person of Jesus Christ, sitting at the fight hand of the Father, interceding on our behalf (Heb. 7:24-25). And it is also Him communicating to us from the throne (John 16:12-15)
So what or how do we pray for those needs around us? When you’re unsure, pray the scripture! I get prompted a lot to pray for former students/friends that I have largely lost touch with. My go to is Hebrews 12:1 and the declaration of being surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses… 1. I pray that they are surrounded by witnesses, so that 2. they know this hope, like I discussed on day 1. If there is a specific need, I may wrestle with God’s will vs. our will and remind myself of His character, but typically Im praying that they simply know hope regardless of the crisis. If they have hope, they have everything.
My pastor recently said, “Hope is what we pray for because the world can’t bring it.” Amen.
Day 6. Fingers
Today we get another helpful tool and this one may be one of my favorites.your hand is made up of five distinct looking fingers that each say something different. Let’s work through them.
Pinky. Begin by praying for the little guy, the poor and powerless, the homeless, the ill.
Ring. Next pray for your family, your spouse, your kids, your relatives.
Middle. These are the people that stick out, the leaders of your life, your city, your country.
Index. These are specifically the people who point people to Christ. Pray for the pastors, the missionaries, the Sunday school leaders.
Thumb. Lastly, pray for your self and anything that may mean.
This circuit can be done in one sitting like the ACTS prayer or it can be done Monday - Friday which I personally enjoy. When you sit on a single topic for extended time you dive deep into the weeds where we can often find untapped compassion.
Romans 12:12 says “be joyful in Hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Amen.
Day 7. “Without Ceasing”
Here’s an impossible task.. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says “pray without ceasing;” Today I want to chew on the reality of that noble command. In order to do so, I think context will go a long way for us. Here is 1 Thessalonians 5:14-24:
“And we urge you, brothers and sisters, admonish the undisciplined, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, be patient toward all. See that no one pays back evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all. Always rejoice, constantly pray, in everything give thanks. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not extinguish the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt. But examine all things; hold fast to what is good. Stay away from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace himself make you completely holy and may your spirit and soul and body be kept entirely blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is trustworthy, and he will in fact do this.”
I think the core of that passage is seen in “For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not extinguish the Spirit.” Few, if any, in this list of actions are easily achievable. In fact, I would argue that none are achievable without total dependence on Christ. Man, that kind of dependence is tough. Something I struggle with daily, but it is God’s will that I learn to trust Him over myself. To lean in and listen to the Living God within me, rather than to suppress or extinguish it.
Are we to pray without ceasing as this never ending monologue? Right or wrong, I think it’s more of a calling to posture ourselves in a way that yields to the Spirit in all things. A life that is, without ceasing, in step with the Living God. Apart from Christ we can do nothing (John 15), so may our life reflect that truth as much as our prayers do. Amen.
Day 8. Consistency
Though I don’t believe we are called to all be monks in constant dialogue as discussed yesterday, I do believe there are some great tools to help develop consistency. Today I hope to give you three final tools for your prayer tool belt.
Apps. There are probably several great apps out there but the one I use and love (especially if you have an Apple Watch) is called Echo. First and foremost, I have it set up to go off every thirty minutes with names of people. It is complete random and sometimes strange. Example; sometimes it gives me the same name 3 times in a row and that usually prompts me into texting that person just to check in. I also have it set with key prayers such as “wisdom” to start my day and “gratitude- look around” at 5pm. You’re also able to share prayer lists with friends, but I don’t use that feature.
Prompts. Someone once taught me to pick different prompts for certain prayer requests… such as “every time you see a bird pray for ______.” I don’t use this but wanted to share it as the analog alternative to reminders via apps.
The third tool is to simply GO serve! In John 13 you get this beautiful image of the King of kings stooping to wash the feet of His disciples. When we are here, positioning ourselves as servants, it’s easy to pray for those we’re serving. After the Master serves the servants, He instructs them to do the same and promises them in verse 17: “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” Amen.
Day 9. Jump
If you’re reading this, we’ve gone through a lot. I hope that you’ve tried some, if not all of these suggestions. But today there is no suggestion other than to sit still. Ultimately a healthy prayer is an honest prayer and so if you are going to learn how to pray, you must simply go! Turn off your device and walk with Jesus. In John 14, Jesus makes some explicit claims, but my favorite thing He says is at the end in verse 31, “Come now, let us leave.” He says that, and then he spends the next few minutes (John 15) defining our relationship with Him. Did you catch that? He says, let’s get out of here, and then gives us the ultimate DTR talk.
Hear your creator inviting you to leave it all behind for a moment, and to walk with Him. Amen.
Day 10. Don’t Swerve
Hebrews 10:23-25 says “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
If this blog has been encouraging to you in the slightest, then I can’t overstate how much value the Church will bring you. I think we established it- real prayer can be hard. And life? I don’t need to sell you on it’s difficulty. But life is not meant to be lived alone and prayer doesn’t have to be done alone- He is with us privately and He is also with us corporately. In fact, we need the Church to affirm the private. Without that sort of oversight is how we get guys like David Koresh.
Matthew 18 lays out a beautiful blue print for dealing with conflict, but I think the application is transferable in that where humans disagree, God’s word is supreme. When we are being led by the Spirit, we can affirm the Spirit in one another. Hence we here the promise, “where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am also.” Careful with that verse though, as it can suggest out of context that Christ isn’t present when you’re alone. No, the beauty of that verse, and final encouragement on day 10 is that you find brothers and sisters to do life with, to encourage you, to sharpen you, to teach you, to draw you further into the goodness of God and His Holy Word which in turn enriches your personal prayer life with a God who knew you in your mother’s womb. Amen.
I hope these thoughts and tools have been as encouraging for you as they were for me. None of them are originally my own, only curated tips. This blog is written with the intention of encouraging friends in the middle of some of the hardest days of our lives. We are being flooded with news that we unfortunately don’t know how to handle. It’s God sized problems and many of us are looking for God sized answers. “…seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Matthew 7:7-11
Praying for you..
